Wednesday, 4 March 2015

Cape Palliser Lighthouse



 I'm not one for heights. I will go out of my way to avoid heights like ladders and aeroplanes... But it doesn't stop me if I HAVE to go on a plane etc. I'll take some Bach mimulus remedy, put my head down and get on with it. I felt good about walking up the 253 steep steps to the light house.
But half way up I had a panic attack - I've never ever had anything like it in my life. I've clients that are coming to me in my naturopathic clinic who suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. Well wow I now understand. Would of preferred not to have experienced that to understand what it is like...but I am sure it will make me a better naturopath from the experience.

I've never liked stairs you can see through... I remember as a kid falling through the steps at Marine land and my dad grabbing my arm and pulling me up and being very scared. Half way up the stairs I went dizzy, hot, spinning in my head, wanting to pass out and vomit. Like... Not the best place for this to happen. Brent asked if I was ok and I replied NO! It took all of my effort to ground myself and keep climbing one step at a time with both arms hugging  the hand rail.  Hard to talk to oneself into overcoming such random out of the blue terror.

I made it to the top and Brent turned around to see me sprawled out face down at the top. I'd only been watching the steps and hit my head on the hand rail on the last step which made me fall over..  "What are you doing down there"... I burst into tears more out of shame than anything. So unlike me not to keep it together,
However - A few good deep breaths and I came right.

 But I still wouldn't go anywhere near the fence, stayed nice and safe by the light house shaking, I made myself walk around the lighthouse (But walking very very close to the lighthouse)

Abbey was HORRIFIED that I packed me old comfies to take away... She said I looked like a 3 year old had dressed me - purple/pink top, red pants and orange shoes,,,, GRIN I love colour. Hey have you seen this mum who lets her 3 year old pick out her clothes? I showed it to Abbey and she said the 3 year old has better tastes than I do - giggle,


View from the top of the light house,


I put our selfie  photo on Instagram - Abbey is teaching me Instagram,,, let me know if you are on it.

 I admitted to Brent I didn't know how I was gonna get down those steps. He said " you'll be right" He went in front of me so I couldn't see too much and I took it one step at time. I couldn't be polite to anyone coming up the steps...  I said not a word to anyone - Not like me at all - I like to talk.

Me thinks it is the very last time I will go to a lighthouse -  BUT I DID IT...
PS Brent took these photos for me (He had plenty of time) - there was no way I was a gonna look,



9 comments:

  1. Wow! Those are certainly steep steps and so many. As I read I was wondering how you made it down. Seems that that would have been worse than up and with only one handrail to hang onto. When I have bad dreams (not nightmares) they almost always feature me up in a high place knowing that somehow I have to get down but afraid to make the attempt. Not fun----even in dreamland and you had it for real!

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    1. On the way down Brent went in front and I just looked at my feet. I still can;t believe I had such a reaction a first for me.

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  2. you are braver than i am! i get that way on the second step of my kitchen stool. i once went up a tower when i was little and i laid flat down on my stomach when i got to the top and couldn't move. my dad had to pick me up and carry me down. i had a friend that almost had to be life flighted off the top of a pyramid!

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    1. Drat I should of made Brent carry me LOL

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  3. Oh - you are a brave soul! I'm terrified of heights. It's definitely going to be a memory that lasts! And you've got the pictures to prove that you did it!

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    1. Nup never liked heights will dodge going on planes - but never had such a random reaction. It felt good to have both feet on the earth once down.

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  4. I think I held my breath the ENTIRE time I read your post Leanne! Phew...I'm vertically-challenged too and have had numerous panic attacks over the years (thought I was dying at first) Go you for facing your fears and becoming an over-comer even if it was the scariest thing ever and you'll never do it (Cape P) again.

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    1. I'm a tad more understanding re folks that have panic attacks - not fun at all. Clients tell me they just come on, must be very scary and hard to live/cope with. Brent is already talking we will do Castle point lighthouse next. Nothing like getting straight back on a horse... I do so love lighthouses. The keeper must of been pretty sturdy to look after Cape Palliser and I bet they didn't have such good steps as there are now.

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  5. I think you would have been better with two handrails since you would be protected on both sides. At least you did make it to the top and get to see the lighthouse.

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